HUMEROUS CROSS OVER FANFIC BETWEEN BUFFY AND AMERICAN PIE
Disclaimer: I do not own American Pie or BtVS. This is not for money. It is just for fun.
YEAR 1999 – LATTER HALF OF BUFFY SEASON 3 – JUST AFTER THE FIRST AMERICAN PIE MOVIE
It was almost a week since Michelle Flaherty had arrived in Sunnydale. Or more exactly, awoke in Sunnydale. One night she went to sleep in band camp. The next, she woke up all alone in a strange lonely house.
At first she was very disconcerted to be in a strange place. But when Buffy Summers turned up that same morning to see ‘Willow’, Michelle realised that she was in Willow Rosenberg’s house in Sunnydale. Michelle was initially quite excited at that thought. Of course, Michelle knew all about Buffy the Vampire Slayer. She watched the TV series after all. For once she would have cool friends and get to know hunks like Angel and Xander.
Michelle had managed to fit in with Buffy and her friends quite easily. Michelle was of course genetically identical to Willow and shared some of Willow’s personality traits. So, for the most part they didn’t seem to notice that Willow had been replaced by Michelle. And when Michelle made the odd slip by referring to ‘band camp’ or talked about ‘boning’, she managed to excuse herself by saying she was tired or not feeling well. They seemed to accept that.
She hoped that she would be able to bone Angel or Xander while she was there. But they were all so in love with Buffy that the never looked at poor horny little Michelle; or should she say Willow. Just as well Michelle still had her flute with her.
She thought it would be fun to hang round with Buffy and the gang. But in reality it was so boring. All work work work. It was all investigating demons and having to sit up all night in grave yards until Buffy dusted the vamp she was waiting for. All so boring and predictable.
Not that the investigation was completely useless. Michelle had learned from the notes in Willow’s electronic diary that Willow had been investigating some artefact that could cause inter-dimensional transference. Michelle guessed that Willow had somehow activated the artefact, causing her and Michelle to switch places. Michelle had read up on the artefact and discovered that the effect only lasted a week. Fortunately, that week was almost up.
Apart from that, the diary was a very interesting source of information. Michelle had learned a few interesting things about Willow from it.
One; that Willow had the hots for Xander. No surprise there.
Two; that she also had the hots for Angel, which was slightly unexpected. Although, Michelle could completely understand that having spent time with the gorgeous brooding so-boneable hunk.
And three; that Willow was clearly a rampant rug-munching lesbian in denial. It was obvious that Willow obviously had the hots for Buffy from the way she described in minute detail everything Buffy said, did and wore. And that meant literally everything.
The fact that Willow was a lesbian confused Michelle at first. After all, in the 3 seasons of BtVS Michelle had watched, there was no sign that Willow was a rug-muncher. Well except perhaps episode 16 ‘Doppelgangland’. But even that wasn’t conclusive. Michelle wondered if it would be explained in the upcoming fourth season. Perhaps everything would come out of the closet then.
Of course, Willow also wrote a load of mumbo-jumbo about her favourite subject which was witchcraft, demons and the occult in general. And that was a subject about which Michelle had absolutely no interest. At least, not unless it involved rustling up a spell or a demon that would get Michelle a good boning. Unfortunately, Willow had been too prudish to address that in her diary up to now. So there was not even any joy in that department for poor horny Michelle.
So it was with a good amount of frustration that Michelle went to bed on that Wednesday night. She knew she would have only one more day in Sunnydale. It was so boring in there. With no boning from Xander or Angel on the cards, she was happy to be going home at last. With that in her thoughts, she settled down under the covers with her flute.
At first Michelle didn’t answer the phone the first two times it rang. She was playing one of her favourite pieces on her flute and didn’t want to stop. But when it rang the third time she decided that she had better answer it after all.
Michelle knew it would be Buffy phoning about some crisis that had to be resolved. But from reading Willow’s diary, Michelle knew that Buffy had a tendency to cry wolf a lot when it came to crises. For every one that was a genuine threat to humanity, there were ten that involved a cat being stuck up a tree. Although, admittedly, the cat was usually running away from a vampire.
But still, one vampire and a pussy cat was not a very good reason to get Michelle out her bed at 2am on a Thursday morning. Especially when Michelle’s own pussy was in the middle of getting a good seeing to with her flute. That was very frustrating.
However, despite everything, Michelle did not want to let Buffy down. Buffy and the scoobies had been nice to her. So with a little reluctance, Michelle picked up the ringing phone with a sigh of resignation.
“Hello. Mich… I mean Willow here.” Said Michelle, hoping she had corrected herself in time.
“Its Buffy!.” Said a frantic voice on the other side of the line. “There are dozens of vampires attacking the library.”
Michelle rolled her eyes and shook her head. Knowing Buffy, dozens of vampires really meant they had found another startled hamster. They probably just wanted Willow to go to the library to do some mundane task on the computer that anyone else with half a brain could do. It was probably another false alarm.
“Go and find Angel in the cemetery and come quick. They’re swarming all over us.” Buffy spoke quickly before hanging up.
Michelle didn’t really want to go to the library. She found all the talk about vampires and demons dull. It was Buffy’s training session tonight and Michelle was hoping she would get the night off. But no such luck.
No doubt that old pervert Giles would be telling the lycra clad Buffy to perform various pointless, but clearly erotic exercises, such as standing upside down on one hand with her legs spread so wide that her feet touched the floor. Talk about a camel-toe. However, Michelle did admit to herself that the exercise where Buffy rapped her legs behind her own neck and buried her face in her own pussy could be potentially very useful. Very useful indeed.
Now Michelle thought about it, it was no wonder rug-munching Willow, and indeed Xander, loved going to the library so much. Indeed, the reason was obvious.
However, Michelle was not interested in going to the library. But she was quite happy to go and see Angel. So she put on her make-up, her lipstick, her fishnet stockings, her sexiest underwear, her high heels and the shortest skirt she could find, before leaving her house to look for him.
It didn’t take her long to find him. As usual he was brooding on a park bench, his head in his hands, sobbing his eyes out.
Michelle sat beside him and put her arm round his broad shoulder, caressing the hard muscles of his vampiric back.
“What’s wrong Angel?” Asked Michelle sincerely. It made her so horny to see Angel so sad.
Angel continued sobbing like a blubbing baby.
“You know when I was sad at band camp.” Said Michelle, hugging Angel closer. “I used to play my flute to cheer me up.”
Angel sobbed even more as if the mention of band camp had resulted in burning hot steel rods being plunged into his eye-balls. Obviously, it would need more than a story about band camp to cheer Angel up this time.
“It’s Buffy, isn’t it.” Sighed Michelle.
Angel nodded still sobbing like a little girl. Michelle snorted and looked up to the sky in disgust. Everything here was always about Buffy.
“Did you and Buffy almost kiss again?” Asked Michelle, turning towards him and running her hand up his inner thigh through the material of his jeans. “It must be very frustrating.”
“I love her so much.” Wept Angel pathetically. “I just want to take her in my arms and…”
“I know, I know.” Whispered Michelle, pushing herself more against Angel and brushing her hands through his gorgeous dark hair. “You want to bone her brains out.”
“But if I do, I’ll turn into that monster…”
“…Angelus.” Michelle finished the sentence for him. “I know, you’ve told me at least a thousand times.” She continued, not at all exaggerating, as she massaged Angel’s rock hard biceps.
“I don’t know what to.” He wailed pitifully.
An idea suddenly flashed in Michelle’s head like the neon sign outside a sleazy Los Angeles brothel. Perhaps she could get a boning from Angel. Perhaps this week in Buffytown wouldn’t be a complete waste of time after all.
“I know a way to ensure that you will feel guilty forever.” Said Michelle caressing Angel’s strong manly chest with one hand as she kissed him on the neck.
“But you are Buffy’s best friend.” Said Angel.
“That’s exactly my point.” Replied Michelle cheerily as she straddled Angel and began to kiss him passionately on the face and neck. “Next time you feel happy, just think of what we did tonight. That should keep bad old Angelus at bay.”
Michelle gasped as she felt Angels hands move up her thighs and felt his lips against her neck. She knew it was a bit naughty taking advantage of Angel like this. But it wasn’t the first time that Michelle had taken advantage of a nice guy she liked. After all, hadn’t she taken advantage of Jim at Stiffler’s party?
“I really don’t want to do this, Willow.” Groaned Angel as she fumbled with the zipper of his jeans. Moments later, Michelle’s boning dream with Angel started to become a reality.
“Oh, I don’t want to do it either.” Moaned Michelle with delight as she bounced up and down on Angel’s hard cock. “I’m only doing it for you and Buffy.”
Meanwhile in the library, a fifth vampire burst into dust as Buffy staked him. The dust had barely settled on the library floor before another vampire charged her and sent her sprawling. She acrobatically leapt to her feet and staked him in one nimble movement. No time for the playful drawn out fights she normally enjoyed. This was a fight for survival.
Buffy looked around the library and saw that both Giles and Xander were each struggling with a vampire. But she had no time to help them as she confronted another group of vampires charging into the room. As she grabbed the axe on the table and decapitated two vampires with one swing, there was only one thought on her mind.
Where the hell were Angel and Willow?
Michelle cried out as Angel’s vamp face leered down at her. She was lying face up on the grass with her knees up to her ears. At first, when Angel had changed into his vamp face, Michelle feared that he was going to bite her. But she soon realize it was only to bone her harder.
Angel had changed into his vamp face some time ago. He had already boned Michelle in four different positions on the bench. Now he was banging her for a fifth time on the ground. “Oh, you must really love Buffy.” Moaned Michelle, looking into Angel’s cat like vamp eyes.
This caused him to growl with rage, before continuing with more boning. Michelle could not help but admire the strength and stamina vampires had. She really was getting her full helping of Angel delight.
About the same time, Buffy was standing in a corner of the library defending the unconscious bodies of Giles and Xander. They had been knocked out in the fighting, but she had managed to save them from being killed. Luckily there had been just enough time to drag them to a defendable position before the next wave of vampires arrived.
Buffy nimbly spun the axe and the sword she was holding in each hand. A vampire charged her only to have both his arms and his head cut off in quick succession, before crashing to the floor in a shower of dust. The other six vampires facing Buffy charged her all at once. She steadied the weapons in her hands, ready to meet them. She hoped there weren’t more on the way. She didn’t know how long she could hold out. She desperately hoped that Willow and Angel would come soon.
Michelle was certainly coming and Angel was certainly holding out. Michelle moaned out loud again as Angel boned her vigorously yet again, this time against a tree. Afterwards, Angel released her and changed back into his human face.
“I feel really bad, now.” Said Angel, mournfully.
“I know, Angel. I feel really bad too.” Lied Michelle. In fact Michelle felt great. That was one of the best bonings she’d ever had in her life. Poor Buffy didn’t know what she was missing with all this Gypsy curse nonsense.
“I should go and see Buffy, now.” Said Angel turning away.
“Yes, good idea. She said some vampires were attacking the Library.” Said Michelle, tidying herself up. “But you know how much she exaggerates sometimes.”
Angel looked at her wide-eyed in shock and fear.
“No wonder there have been no vampires here tonight.” He said. “They were all at the library. We have to go now!”
Angel grabbed Michelle and they ran together towards Sunnydale High.
When Angel and Michelle arrived at the library, Buffy glared at them furiously while Xander and Giles nursed their injuries.
“Where were you?” Hissed Buffy. “We were almost killed. I only just managed to fend them off.”
Michelle and Angel looked at each other sheepishly. Michelle looked at the bedraggled state that she and Angel were in after their activities in the woods. They were dirty and sweaty and their clothes were ripped. That gave Michelle an idea.
“Vampires attacked us too.” Lied Michelle, trying to sound as terrified as possible. “Angel saved me. He dusted dozens of them. Is that not right Angel?”
Angel hesitated a moment, and then nodded, mumbling under his breath in his usual sullen brooding way.
Buffy looked at their bedraggled state and nodded in acceptance. Then she smiled and hugged Michelle warmly.
“I’m sorry what I said, Will” Said Buffy tenderly. “I know it must have been terrifying for you.”
“It’s a night I’ll never forget.” Sobbed Michelle with joy.
From the guilty brooding expression on Angel’s face, it was clear he wouldn’t forget it either. That gipsy curse would never be broken ever again.